Your Money Relationship

Would You Hire Your Personal Management Team?
(The ones in the mirror)

When you gain clarity around your money relationship one of the most positive results is that you become aware of how and with whom you spend 2 precious commodities: your time and your energy. Your priorities become straight and your energy is used more wisely as you become cognizant of the fact that a prosperous life is one where you use your energy towards things that deepen your sense of purpose and well being.

The simplest way to get awareness around your Time, Energy, Money factor is to track everything you do in a day. Then, go through each activity and ask

* How much time did it take?
* How much of my energy did it require of me? What is the quality of energy I received in the doing of it?
* How much money did it cost? Or how much money did I make given the Time and Energy I put into t?

What matters to you? What activities could you curtail or give to someone else?
Do you create busy work for yourself as a form of procrastination – a form of resistance? I remember how lost I felt when I first hired someone to assist me with administrative work. All this freed up time showed me how I was kidding myself. The “if only I had someone to help me” tape was no longer valid and now I was scrambling to find things for her to do! Uncovering the true motivations behind my habits of fear and resistance helped me move through to a more effective way of being.

When I started tracking my money I realized I was spending an extra 45 minutes to an hour waiting in long lines at the grocery store, at the end of long days when I was super tired and would have rather been at home. Now I get in my big weekly shopping which gives me extra time, let’s me apply my energy and focus on things I consciously know will support my purpose in life. And, it requires me to be more organized about my food because I have to plan ahead. Seemingly small things create a much bigger impact in other areas of your life – well beyond your Time + Energy + Money factor.

A client who started tracking her money noticed she was spending an inordinately high amount on taxi cabs. An actress who held a full time administrative job, she took auditions on her lunch hour. When I asked her why she took so many cabs she said she was always running behind because she was exhausted. “Why?” Because she didn’t get enough sleep. Long story short, she started taking her self care regime seriously, got to bed earlier and now that she was aware of her Time + Energy quotient, planned ahead and started walking to auditions. She slipped in some exercise and she saved money. What initially appeared to be an overspending issue was at its root a Time + Energy issue.

The equation that Time + Energy = Money is true but I look at it this way: Money allows us to do what we want with our Time + Energy.

This week, make an effort to track where you are spending your time and consciously analyze the decisions you make about your priorities. After all, if you aren’t running your life – who is?

A few months ago I voluntarily ensconced myself in a darkened theater with screenwriters, producers and actors. We were there to listen to Robert McKee give his 4-Day “Story” Seminar (www.mckeestory.com). I’m a fan of Bob McKee’s, author of “Story”, a book that many in Hollyweird (his pet name for Hollywood) consider the bible on the art of story telling and screenwriting. His genius is in his ability to analyze what motivates people to act the way they do. So you can understand why I was thrilled to be there delving deeper into the nature of human behavior.

Two days into the Seminar, McKee said something that struck me. “All people operate from their “center of good”". In other words, we operate in ways that make total sense to us because we are always able to justify our actions. Each of us believes we are doing the right thing and want to identify with the positive. However, we’ve all made financial decisions we later regretted. Tagged, unworn clothes that have never graced a body hang in thousands of closets, hastily bought knick- knacks that clutter our homes end up in storage boxes, books with uncracked spines, even real estate sold too soon and from a place of fear… all reminders of our acts of impatience, insecurities and unmet needs.

If hindsight is 20/20 then our past can teach us why we made certain decisions when we did. The best time to grocery shop is not when you’re famished. Unrequited hunger of any emotional kind clouds judgment as one searches unsuccessfully for them through material things; things that aren’t designed to meet unmet needs like money, food and even satisfying relationships. Unmet needs leave you craving for more.

Find a quiet time to revisit a recent purchase made. Rewind and slow everything down as you travel back to a moment when you made a financial decision you later regretted.

*What mood or state of mind were you in?
*How did you justify your purchase at the time?
*What had you hoped it would do? Solve a problem, soothe your soul or bring you closer to someone, perhaps?
*Try and pinpoint at what point in your decision making you moved away from your inner wisdom. Were you by yourself or were you in a group, participating in a wave of collective thoughts?
*What’s the lesson learned? Next time you find yourself in a similar position, what can you do to stay in touch with your core?

The reason you do this now, when you are relaxed and in an “uncharged” state is so the next time (life will always bring another situation to teach you the same lesson until you are ready to learn it and move on) you find yourself in a more heated or pressured situation and sense your “center” shifting you will remember the inquiry process just described. That’s how we create change. Do this enough times and it eventually becomes less conscious. This is why I say that your relationship with money is a practice. Remember this expansive part of you so you can return to it when you need to slow down and create space between your impulses and action.

As well, it is crucial that you forgive your past financial trespasses. Let them go. Learn from them, but let them go. Beating yourself up if even in your mind is a violent act. Violence is born out fear, anger, frustration and insecurity… those emotions do not lead to peace or true prosperity.

Someone recently asked if the necessity to gage ourselves and the way we are with money ever goes away. I don’t think it does. As with any relationship, keeping it vibrant and healthy requires constant attention and nurturing. I love money as it serves as an alert body reflecting where our focus is.

When we open ourselves to our inner wisdom we empower ourselves by discovering innate resources that help us fulfill those parts of ourselves that are in need of attention. By dancing between our inner and outer worlds of being and money we maintain our balance.